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'An important alternative'
------------ At the beginning of every semester, N.C. State fraternities can be seen out in the Brickyard distributing information about their respective chapters. They hold rush events at their houses and local businesses, hoping to attract prospective members to build and strengthen their chapters. Last week members of Delta Lambda Phi, a fairly young social fraternity, sat in the back corner of a local coffee shop after their rush event had ended. They sat and discussed the Wake Forest defeat of the N.C. State men's basketball team, much like any group of fraternity members. They wore letter shirts and had leftover rush schedules sitting out on the table. "We had a pretty good turnout tonight," described President Clayton Theo, though it could have been better. With the fraternity holding more than 10 rush events in two weeks, most prospective members do not have enough time to attend all of them. He described that their rush kickoff party had the best turnout by far: they showed the British film, "Queer as Folk." The DLP members are gay. In the fall of 1998, Theo and Marshall Smith felt that gay men on campus could not be openly gay in a fraternity and still enjoy the same rewards of fraternity life: brotherhood, friendship and belonging. Since the fraternity system was, and still is for the most part, centered around heterosexual activities, gay men needed a place where their sexuality was not an issue, a place to share in fraternity life without worrying about their brothers discovering their secret. Theo and Smith felt that the DLP "was an important alternative," said Smith. Then he, another anonymous co-president who dropped out because he feared a campus backlash and Theo, the vice-president, contacted the national headquarters in Washington D.C. to elicit permission to form a colony. Along with three other men, they formed an interest group that became colonized in the spring of 1999 and is not the furthest chapter in the southeast and the only one in North Carolina. That spring they held their first formal rush and pledged two new brothers. "It is difficult starting up a fraternity," said Smith. "It takes a lot of dedication because you have to pledge and be your own pledgemaster at the same time. You can't delegate." But that time has passed. Now, Raphael Olivares is the pledgemaster, leading new members through the eight-week pledge process. Like in other fraternities, pledges are expected to learn the fraternity's history, rituals and other important facts--without hazing. A pledge will not be seen crossing the Brickyard pushing a lawnmower or carrying the seat of a toilet bowl around his neck, said Smith. Since one of the fraternity's main goals is to be discreet, the last thing they want to do is ask their pledges "to run around campus doing stuff," said Theo. Some of these young men "are coming to terms with their sexuality," he continued. They need a positive environment to do this--some are living in fear of being found out. Hazing does not get anyone anywhere, said Smith. "It is useless and pointless...I want new friends." Since they began, Smith and Theo have made many new friendships. They have nine brothers, but two members moved away, leaving only seven active members. However, each semester they continue to grow, said Theo. Currently, they have four new pledges. "I haven't been disappointed," he said, though he admits to being worried at the start. NCSU's DLP has not been awarded its charter, which is the fraternity's first goal right now, and they expect to receive it by the end of this spring. As far as joining the Interfraternity Council, "it's not a goal or requirement," said Smith. "We haven't ruled it out either," he continued. Though it is not a reason for not joining, they do recognize the fear of other IFC members if they tried to join. But fear is something they deal with daily. People "fear the unknown," said Theo. Some DLP members fear being discovered. One rushee at the event would not give his name or age, but would only say he is a graduate student. He, too, feared that some people would find out he is gay. He said he knows of 11 men in five fraternities "on the [Fraternity] Court" who are gay but afraid of what would happen if their brothers discovered the truth. Fortunately, the DLP has not had to deal with any sort of backlash, said Smith, who recalled a few years ago when members of Bisexuals, Gays, Lesbians and Allies were attacked while painting the Free Expression Tunnel. The big difference between the two, however, is that the BGLA is an activism group while DLP is a social fraternity. They do not compete. In fact, they try to work with one another in scheduling events because a male can be a member of both. DLP is concerned with providing gay, bisexual and progressive males a discreet way to be themselves in a fraternity environment. "We let you be you," said Olivares. To do this, they hold many events, like last week's at Third Place coffeehouse. They also hold events that are less public, so that rushees may choose to be seen or not. "It's kind of a Catch-22," said Olivares. If they publicize, then people will know about the events and rushees might not attend. If they do not publicize, they might not draw any rushees. One of the common misconceptions they have had to deal with is that people think they are a "pretty-boy sex club" said Theo. In the bylaws, there is a "hands-off" clause, meaning that pledges and brothers are not allowed to have romantic relationships. And that is the first thing they tell their rushees at these events. The response to the fraternity has been mixed: many NCSU alumni have contacted the fraternity to applaud their efforts. "Some say they wished we were around when they were in school," said Theo. The university has not responded yet, though Greek Life did contact Smith to request a meeting this week. He did not know what it was about. Other students do not really seem interested, he continued, except for the occasional murmurs they overhear. When they first began, Theo overheard three students in his calculus class making fun of DLP. "They were obviously homophobic," he said. The group insists that they are just a bunch of guys, "talking about whatever aspect of our lives with each other," said Olivares. "Like other normal people." They follow the same model as a classic social fraternity. "We are there for each other and do things for each other," he added. "But we are also our own frat." The brothers are not carbon copies of each other. Of the nine members, two are Asian American and one is Hispanic. Their membership is also open to any college student in the Triangle. One rushee is even a graduate from a small university in Ohio and a member of Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity there. "We are a place for gay people to go," said Olivares. "People think we sit around and talk about 'gay stuff.' It's not 'gay stuff,' it's our life."
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